Institute Satori

Humans always experience, think, and behave according to a pattern. We always have the need to put things into categories. This gives a person security and predictability because it allows or tells him how to act in a certain situation. Thus, as children, from an early age, we create ideas based on our own subjective experiences of the relationship with another person, and over time, when this is repeated, the so-called scheme of this experience is created, which, in the event of similar experiences, then has an impact on all our future reactions. These schemas of ours become patterns that we use to generalize events and classify them. Through this process, we always look at and experience the world and relationships through the prism of such created schemes. Schemes are created based on the interaction of an individual’s external and internal worlds, which then affect how we think and feel and what we do with it. Schemes, however, can be linked together into large patterns or so-called scripts. Unlike schemas, which are necessary for us to function effectively in our complex world, scripts limit our ability to adapt creatively and constructively to new situations. And these schemas, which are not flexible (so that we can change them, adapt them based on new experiences), are combined into scripts that make up our life scenario.

The life scenario is thus our unconscious life plan, which is formed on the basis of inflexible and rigid schemes, which are very resistant to change, because they serve as a defense mechanism that protects us from unpleasant emotions. The life scenario is formed based on the so-called survival reactions, these are physical reactions that help us survive (they are visible on the body, e.g. to hold our breath so as not to feel fear; to contract certain muscles so that we do not feel how bad we are) or for survival in the form of mental balance. It is also formed based on conclusions through which the child makes important decisions (e.g. ‘I am unimportant’) on the basis of a certain negative experience that influences him to react in such a similar way in later events. The basis of the script are also the so-called introjections, which are taken over from a certain important person, which we as children receive over a longer period of time. We internalize the image of the parent which includes their emotions, thoughts, beliefs, behaviors and way of perceiving the world, which usually occurs in the absence of contact and/or in the presence of unresolved conflicts. This influences the formation of our beliefs, emotions, and behaviors later in life. All of this is about defenses that prevent emotions and unmet needs from childhood from coming to consciousness. This is the main point around which our true emotions revolve. Such a scenario of ours limits spontaneity and flexibility in problem solving and in relationships with people. Our life story is thus already written, usually in early childhood, including the end and all the important events. We then experience these conditions throughout our lives. The life scenario is a kind of repetition of unresolved childhood dramas.

All this shapes our script system, which makes up our life scenario, as one of the very important models in integrative relational psychotherapy (according to the psychotherapist Dr. R. Erskine) and allows us to see how we live our script from day to day. As a person gets older, the life scenario is maintained in order to avoid re-experiencing unmet needs and repressed emotions, and to establish a predictable model of life and interpersonal relationships. To this end, these script patterns are created as a solution to the problem. This is our way of dealing with a situation that causes discomfort or is perceived as dangerous. And when patterns are rigid, automatic, and unconscious, they become dysfunctional, hindering our ability to grow and change, to respond to things spontaneously and creatively, to be fully ourselves, and to enter into authentic relationships with others. Thus, limited individuals live in a constant tension between the false security that script-based behavior gives them and the problems that these scripts cause and the inflexibility as a result. The perspective of the individual is thus becoming more and more narrow. No matter how hard an individual tries to break through this pattern, it repeats itself over and over again. Freud used the term repetitive pressure/coercion to do this. To an outside observer, such behavior seems somehow forced, because it turns out to be ineffective at the first attempt. From an internal perspective, however, there seems to be no other choice available. As a result, the individual is very limited and unfree in this life scenario, which determines the distorted framework through which he judges himself, others and the quality of life in general. In order for a person to free himself from these rigid patterns and live more freely, it is necessary to change, usually with the professional help of a psychotherapist, to get in touch with repressed parts, emotions, integrate these different parts (the so-called ego states), which consequently enables a move away from old, rigid reserved expectations and perceptions and experiencing oneself in the world in a more contactful and thus less restrictive and free way.

Vse to oblikuje naš skriptni sistem, ki sestavlja naš življenjski scenarij, kot eden od zelo pomembnih modelov v integrativni relacijski psihoterapiji (po psihoterapevtu Dr. R. Erskinu) in nam omogoča videti, kako živimo svoj skript iz dneva v dan. Ko oseba postaja starejša, se življenjski scenarij ohranja zato, da se izogne ponovnemu doživljanju nezadovoljenih potreb in potlačenih emocij ter da si vzpostavi predvidljiv model življenja in medosebnih odnosov. V ta namen tako ti skriptni vzorci nastajajo kot rešitev problema. To je naš način spoprijemanja s situacijo, ki povzroča nelagodje ali jo doživljamo kot nevarno. In takrat, ko so vzorci togi, avtomatski in nezavedni, postanejo disfunkcionalni, ovirajo naše sposobnosti rasti in spremembe, da se odzovemo na stvari spontano in kreativno, da smo popolnoma mi in da vstopamo v pristne odnose z drugimi. S tem omejeni posamezniki živijo v neprestani napetosti med lažno varnostjo, ki jo jim daje vedenje na podlagi skripta in problemi, ki jih ti skripti povzročajo in nefleksibilnostjo, kot posledico. Perspektiva posameznika se tako vedno bolj oža. Ne glede na to, kako se posameznik trudi, da bi prebil ta vzorec, se-le ta neprestano ponavlja. Freud je za to uporabil izraz ponavljajoči pritisk/prisiljenost. Zunanjemu opazovalcu se takšno vedenje zdi nekako prisilno, ker se že ob prvem poskusu pokaže kot neučinkovito. Iz notranje perspektive pa se zdi, da ni na voljo nobene druge izbire. Posameznik je tako posledično v tem svojem življenjskem scenariju zelo omejen, nesvoboden, kar mu določa izkrivljen okvir skozi katerega presoja sebe, druge in kvaliteto življenja na sploh. Da bi se človek osvobodil teh togih vzorcev in zaživel bolj svobodno, je za spremembo, ponavadi ob strokovni pomoči psihoterapevta, potrebno priti v stik s potlačenimi deli, čustvi, integrirati te različne dele (t.i. ego stanja), kar posledično omogoča odmik od starih, rigidnih zadržanih pričakovanj in percepcij ter doživljanja sebe v svetu na bolj kontakten in s tem manj omejujoč ter svoboden način.​

Objavljeno v: Hišni zdravnik. Letnik 2, številka 4, April 2010,11-13.

dr. Tamara Trobentar, psihoterapevtka